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Let's talk about Toxic Parenting !

Aishwary Dubey
Aug 15
2 min read

Some homes don’t raise children, they raise survivors.

Sad child holding a teddy bear in the foreground. Stern adults with crossed arms stand behind. Gray background conveys a tense mood.

Let’s get one thing straight,

Parents are not gods.

They’re human. Just like us.

They can be wrong. They can be messy.

And yes… they can make mistakes too.

When you start seeing them through this lens, something shifts.

The pain doesn’t vanish, but it feels lighter...because you realize it’s not your fault you couldn’t meet their impossible version of “perfect.”

Listen to me first...Okay 💞

Hey, If you grew up in a home where love came with fear, I want you to hear this... it wasn’t your fault. You weren’t “too sensitive,” “too dramatic,” or “ungrateful.” You were a child, learning how to survive in a place that didn’t always feel safe. And survival leaves marks... the way you apologize too much, overthink every word before speaking, avoid eye contact when someone’s upset, feel guilty for saying no, or freeze during conflict.

These aren’t flaws. They’re habits your younger self built to stay safe. You did what you had to do to get through it. Now, you get to unlearn the hurt without blaming yourself for carrying it. You deserve a kind voice, even if it has to come from your own. You deserve a home... even if you have to build it inside yourself.

What Toxic Parenting Can Look Like

Making you feel guilty for wanting something different.
Comparing you to others and calling it “motivation.”
Controlling your choices, but blaming you when they go wrong.
Using the silent treatment instead of listening.
Dismissing your feelings with “you’re too sensitive.”
Expecting emotional support from you, while ignoring your needs.

If any of this feels familiar, you’re not “too dramatic.”

You’ve simply been taught to survive in a home that didn’t feel safe. Which I told you earlier...and its okay...

How It Affects You as an Adult

You overthink before saying “no.”
You apologize for things that aren’t your fault.
You avoid conflict, even when it costs your peace.
You feel guilty for putting yourself first.
You chase approval, even from people who hurt you.

These aren’t personality flaws.They’re survival habits you built as a child.

Sad woman with a teddy bear in foreground. Background shows contrasting scenes of happy and upset people, creating an emotional, warm-toned setting.

What You Can Do Now

Name it: Call the behavior toxic... it gives you clarity.
Set small boundaries: Shorter calls, safe topics, no personal comparisons.
Stop over-explaining: “I’ve made my decision” is enough.
Build a safe circle: One or two people who truly see you.
Create your own “home”: A space, routine, or relationship where you feel calm.

You can love your parents and still protect yourself.

Both can be true.

And choosing peace over pain isn’t betrayal... it’s healing.

Thanks for checking this out! I get that giving advice is way easier than actually doing it, but trust me, I've been in your shoes and totally get it.

Everything's gonna be alright. Just believe in yourself and hang in there! I'm here for you.

With Love,

Aishwary 🤍