This Is Why Marriages Are Failing. And No One Talks About It.

Don’t marry the version of them you saw when they were trying to win you. Marry the version they become when life doesn’t go their way. That’s the one you’ll sleep beside. That’s the one who’ll shape your peace.

This image is a symbolic representation created using AI for emotional and educational storytelling purposes. It does not depict any real individuals or events. Generated using OpenAI's DALL·E.

You’ve planned the day.

The clothes.

The pictures.

The song that plays as you walk down the aisle.

Everything looks perfect.

But before you say “I do”...Ask yourself what no one taught you to ask.

Do I really know the person I’m choosing?

Not the version that smiles for photos.

Not the one who texts good morning.

But the real them.

The version that shows up on hard days.

When they’re stressed, angry, disappointed, or afraid.

Because that’s the version you’ll meet most often in a lifelong relationship.

Who are they… really?

What do they believe about love?

About loyalty? About failure?

How do they handle stress?

Do they shut down? Do they blame? Do they talk it out?

What are their emotional boundaries?

Can they express pain without punishing you for it?

Or do they make you responsible for how they feel?

What kind of trauma are they still carrying?

And do they even know it exists?

And here’s the most important part:

How do you feel in their presence… even in silence?

Do you feel calm? Safe? Seen?

Or do you feel like you're always trying harder, being smaller, or walking on eggshells?

Because no matter how much you love someone…If your nervous system doesn’t feel safe around them, It’s not a relationship. It’s survival dressed in romance.

This image is a symbolic AI-generated representation created using OpenAI’s DALL·E

We plan the wedding.

But rarely do we plan for the life after it.

And life doesn’t care how well the colors matched on your big day.

It will test your connection.

Your patience.

Your ability to stay soft when everything gets hard.

Because marriage is not about the day you say “yes.”

It’s about the days that feel like “I’m not sure anymore”.

And choosing to stay through them with honesty.

Love is beautiful.

But it’s not enough if it’s not safe.

And forever doesn’t start at the altar.

It starts the moment you stop romanticizing and start seeing.

Thank you for reading!!

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I’ll listen without judgment. I offer a safe space for talk-based support. My background in psychology and counselling gives me tools to listen, reflect, and suggest gentle practices. This isn’t medical treatment. It’s a space to be heard and to grow.

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With Best Wishes,

Aishwary.